


For Lack of a Better Name

by allmilhouse



Category: Barry (TV 2018)
Genre: Anniversary, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, M/M, a linear timeline? a cohesive storyline?? I don't know them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26745652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmilhouse/pseuds/allmilhouse
Summary: While celebrating their one year anniversary, Barry tries to overcome Hank's one flaw- his aliases
Relationships: Barry Berkman/NoHo Hank
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	For Lack of a Better Name

**Author's Note:**

> wanted to do something for this terrible bit from the emmys but it got away from me
> 
> https://twitter.com/Anth_Carrigan/status/1307866036813717506?s=19

Barry had been a meticulous criminal. Some of it had been from Fuches' planning, true, but he also knew that it paid to have everything planned out. Every alibi was pre-rehearsed, and fake names were carefully thought up and logged on the backs of burner phones. Backstories, plausible excuses, and even phoney IDs memorized and ready for the perfect moment. 

And then there was Hank. 

It was impressive in a way, how he could come up with something on the spot, lies and excuses rolling off his tongue and landing somewhere in the realm of the probable. An impulsive part of Barry wished he could have brought in Hank for Improv Night at his acting class. He bombed horribly, but Hank was spontaneous and fluid enough to go with the flow, and it would be wonderful to see him in action. 

But there was one area where Hank's impromptu gift for gab failed him- names. 

"Your table is ready. Right this way Mr Rock-Johnson." The host turned to lead them into the restaurant, and Barry shot Hank his best death glare. He smiled back a little brighter, totally oblivious. 

They usually used false names whenever possible on their dates, as extra precaution. Not that Hank wasn’t super recognizable on a good day, but it helped Barry feel more secure. The real problem was that Hank usually made the reservations, and he came up with the worst aliases. 

This week was particularly bad. It was the one year anniversary of them meeting- and of Barry also shooting Hank, something he didn't think they should commemorate. 

"How about one year from our first date? Or our first kiss?" he suggested one night in bed, where Hank was usually more suggestible. 

But he stayed firm, crossing his arms and making him look extra adorable. "Because that was the moment I fell in love with you- walking towards our car, all intense and badass with that angry look on your face, yes that's the one!" He trailed off in laughter as Barry frowned at him. 

"You've got some issues man."

But Hank only laughed harder, Barry eventually softening up and joining him, and the whole thing was forgotten. Or so Barry had thought, until a few weeks later and he found himself embarrassed at work once again. 

He was working the opening shift, and as he was finally ready to get the doors opened, he saw a garish balloon bouquet on the doorstep. It was over seven feet tall, towering above him and billowing softly in the early morning breeze. A nervous looking delivery man stepped from behind the rainbow colored strings keeping the whole thing from turning into the house from Up, looking down at a clipboard. 

"Morning, are you Eric Cartman?"

Barry rubbed the bridge of his nose and exhaled heavily. "Uhh, yeah?"

The nervous man nodded, reading off the invoice again. "Happy anniversary, with love, from Lebron James Spader."

He groans, and tips the guy extra just for the hassle of it all and to get him the hell out of there. He's dragging the whole extravaganza into the small employee room at the back of the store when his phone rings. 

"Morning darling," Hank says brightly. "Happy anniversary!"

"Hank what the fuck?” he hissed in quiet desperation. 

“It was nothing! I wanted to save it for dinner tonight but you know, it’s hard to wait for dessert.” 

“Dessert? What are you talking about? I've got like a million balloons here.”

The line goes quiet as Hank pauses in thought. "Oh so you haven't got the fruit plate yet?"

"The what?" He looks up then, and sees another delivery guy approaching the front door. "Hank I'm gonna kill you."

"Save it for the foreplay. I’ll pick you up at 7. Don't be late!"

He hangs up and goes to open the front door a crack.

"Mr uh, Ben Jerry? I've got a package for you?"

He wants to bash his head on the door but settles for getting his fingers caught when he goes to close it. 

\----

He managed to get through the rest of his day peacefully, mostly by ignoring Hank's texts all day, but dinner with Hank was surprisingly sweet, despite another atrocious alias. 

He thought about broaching the subject, but then there were so many things he wanted to talk about with Hank. How he made him feel, how he made him laugh, how this past year has made him so unbelievably happy. 

So Hank was bad with names, but he more than made up for it in other ways. Ways that made him thankful to be alive, something he honestly thought wasn't possible for someone like him. Every little annoyance added up still couldn't compare to the big, all-encompassing positives that Hank had brought into his life. 

He's so wrapped up in his thoughts that Hank startles him when he shakes his arm gently. "What's up man? You're all dark and brooding again."

The smile slides on his face so quickly and naturally, as if Hank had put it there himself. "Just thinking about us. Hard to believe it's been a year." 

"To many more?" Hank says, lifting his wine glass for a toast, but his voice sounds hesitant, as if he’s not sure what the answer will be. 

"To many more," Barry agreed, gently clinking their glasses. 

\----

He wasn't even sure if Hank was his real name. He'd never asked, and Hank had never offered much in the way of his past. It seemed to suit him well enough, especially when Barry repeated it over and over on the brink of orgasm. 

He couldn’t judge. He’d changed his own last name, for his acting career. He was glad he kept his first name though. He never got enough of hearing Hank say it. It sounded different when he said it, softer and sweeter, his accent turning it into something worth saying, worth listening to. 

“Hey, are you listening to me?” Hank asks, bringing him back once again from his swirling thoughts, and grounding him firmly in his bed. They’d gone straight home after dinner, and were now basking in comfortable afterglow- well, Hank was basking and Barry was blinking trying to recall the conversation.

“Yeah, you were, uhh-” He pauses again, and Hank smiles, reaching over him for Barry’s phone on the end table. 

“I asked what time it is.” He burst out laughing, turning the phone to Barry. All of Hank’s unanswered texts blanketed the screen. “Do you seriously have me saved as NoHo Hunk?”

Barry wrestled his phone back, turning over to plug it back in. “Go to bed, Hank.”

“Don’t you mean Hunk?” he chuckled, slotting in nicely against Barry’s shoulder. "Man, you fucking suck at nicknames. Maybe I should teach you some cool-"

He falters as Barry swats him, and they roll back across the bed, fighting and tickling and laughing each other’s name.


End file.
